Atomic Parenting Habits

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長いので、主な注意点を最初に🙏（GPT-4 APIの使用でだいぶよくなったと思いますが…）

• [mm:ss]というタイムスタンプは、入っているところと入っていないところがあるかも。
• 「-Japan（日本）」「-Barak Obama（バラク・オバマ）」があるかも。単語帳作成のためのプロンプト中に例として挙げたものが紛れ込んでいる可能性があります。
• proofreadについてなど、ChatGPTへプロンプトを本文と誤認している場合もあるかも。
• その他にも日本語訳が抜けているなど不完全な部分は多々あるかと思いますが、基本的にはChatGPTの限界だと思ってご了承ください。。
• 誤訳や不完全な文字起こしがあったとしても、なんの責任も負えませんので、ご自身で確かめながらご利用ください。

I'm Dr. Becky and this is Good Insight.

Developing good habits can be hard, whether it's the habit of prioritizing self-care as a parent or getting your kids to brush their teeth or do their homework. But small changes can make a big difference. This week I'm talking to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, about little steps we can all take to change our habits and get 1% better every day. Back in a minute.

I often hear that parents have a really hard time really getting into self-care habits that they know. People are saying like, I know that I can't fill myself up by pouring myself out. I know I'm not a good parent when I don't take the time for myself. And one might tell my kid, okay, I guess I won't go on my walk because you're crying. Like I actually know that's not good for anyone, but still.

[1:02]

That's so hard. So a self-care habit. And then I also know everyone listening is thinking, you know, those day-to-day transition habits, whether it's getting out the door, putting your stuff away, kids when they come in, or starting homework, like I would love to kind of address both of those. You know, when you have young kids, it's just a really tough period.

And so I think, first of all, you can't be having a bad attitude about it or tearing yourself down or feeling guilty about it just makes it harder. Like it's hard to optimize during those periods. Like there's just some truth to that? Yeah, like there's it's just a difficult period. So like I think you need to have at least a little bit of forgiveness with yourself. Feeling bad about it doesn't put you in a better position to solve it.

Now, that said, there are a variety of things that you can do to try to make it easier. The first thing is you're going to have to give something up. And this is something that was really hard for me. But the question that I keep coming back to is what season I'm I in right now.

[2:06]

So before I had kids, I was in a season where the career burner was turned on high and I could spend a lot of time on that. And the family and friends burner was turned down lower. And then you transition seasons.

And usually when your seasons change your habits need to change. And that was like fairly obvious to me when it comes to habits that were like a waste of time. Okay, now I don't have as much time to watch TV or to browse YouTube or check email or things like that. But it was much harder for me to realize that.

And it probably took me like a year and a half to give up some of the things that previously benefited me. They were like really good habits in my old season, but they're just not a good fit for the current season. And that I think is a much harder conversation to have with yourself. Where you're like, listen, I know this is good. I know it's enjoyable, but it's just not a good fit for where I'm at right now.

[3:08]

And so your filter for what you say no to has to raise and I feel like I'm always bad at that, I feel like I'm always three to six months behind on what I should be saying no to. But this realization that self-care takes work, that it doesn't just happen, that can be a difficult transition but accepting it allows you to maybe raise that filter for what you say no to and carve out a little bit more time for some of those things that put you in a better position for the rest of the day.

I think that's right. And I think something I always wished was taught to parents or like even any of us earlier is, especially when you become a parent, taking care of yourself always goes hand in hand with someone being upset about it. You're not gonna avoid that. Like someone is inconvenienced, your kid is crying because you say, nobody can watch me in the shower today. Maybe my self-care is taking a shower without my child knocking on the door.

[4:08]

And I think we often expect or want our kid to be like, you deserve that, like something unconscious, like, yes, mom, you go get that time for yourself. But often taking care of ourselves does come with our kid protesting.

Yeah, that can be a hard part of parenting. You'll never get paid for it, you'll never get praised for it, and sometimes it feels thankless in that way. But I talk about this with my wife sometimes, our kids are really young, so they can't tell us that it's okay or that we deserve it or that we need it. But that doesn't mean they don't love us or don't care for us. Like, in fact, the greatest threat to them is that we're not there, that we're not available, or that we can't care for it. Like, there's nothing that they care for more than us, but they're not in a position or an age to express it that way.

[5:08]

So, it'd be nice sometimes if they could say it, but they can't, and realizing that, I think, makes it a little bit easier to accept. Yeah, so if someone's listening and thinking like, yeah, okay, so my kid's gonna be upset when I really do go to the gym two days a week, or do take that walk, or maybe my self-care is reading a book instead of cleaning up the playroom for the 20 millionth time in the week?

And they're like, okay, James Clear, you're a habit expert, can I get some tips, like how can I put that into action? Some of this stuff, we could come up with ridiculous things, it could be like, oh, how to take a two minute shower, but how to do this doesn't need to be optimized. I mean, everybody knows how to take a shower, everybody knows what the basic self care is that they want, whether it's a walk or a workout or whatever.

[6:09]

So the real thing is, the kids have to be taken care of. that's a job that somebody has to do. Now, if it's not you, it needs to be someone else. Maybe it's the grandparents, maybe it's the nanny, maybe it's a daycare or they go to school but like at some point they have to be covered by somebody. So everyone's solution for that is different and unique but it is a reality that still needs to be managed.

So you got to figure out what that is for you so that you can carve out a little bit of time. And then I've noticed that like this is, again, this is just unique to our situation, but for my wife and I, there are different high leverage times for each of us. So for example, I don't really mind getting up an hour earlier so that she can sleep in or have like that hour to herself to do whatever she wants. And so I will take them for the first hour of the day.

[7:11]

That's not that big of a deal. Then we have the middle of the day where everybody's doing their normal thing. And then what's much higher leverage for me is if I can get like an hour in the afternoon to work out or to have that coverage that I need. And so we can just kind of trade it at the right time.

And so I think that's just a conversation that parents can often have. And I really like that framing. Like, what would be the really high leverage thing to do for you? Like, what's a really key hour in your day that you would love to get back? And it doesn't always work out perfectly, but if you can lay out three or four or five things like that, sometimes you can find easy ways to trade that doesn't really feel like that big of a lift for the other person, but it feels like a lot for you.

And so that's like, you know, that's the best possible scenario. Now, outside of that, I've noticed that the biggest thing is the moments are so fleeting. I'm sure you felt this too. Like you get 15 minutes and if you don't start right now, like if you don't start at some point in the next 60 seconds, then that time evaporates.

[8:09]

And then it's like I lost my window to do that thing. So getting started is probably the single biggest hurdle. I always like to recommend the 2-minute rule. And the 2-minute rule is very simple. It just says take whatever habit you're trying to do and you scale it down to something takes two minutes or less to do. So read 30 books a year, it becomes read one page or do yoga four days a week becomes take out my yoga mat.

And your only goal in these next two minutes is to get the yoga mat out and sometimes people resist that a little bit because they're like, okay, I know the real goal is to do the workout. I know the actual goal wasn't just to take the yoga mat out. But what you really need to master is the art of showing up. And to scale it down, don't worry about how big or how grand it looks. You're just trying to get started as quickly as possible.

[9:07]

So I think a lot of the time when people choose habits that they want to build, especially ambitious people, you sit down and you think about what you'd like to achieve and you start envisioning what this peak performance would look like or what your dream scenario would look like.

★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★

• The dialogue discusses the importance of self-care, especially in the context of parenting, and how changing habits can be beneficial. Dr. Becky spoke to author James Clear about how small actions can gradually improve our daily lives.

• ダイアログでは、特に親としての自己ケアの重要性と、習慣を変えることがどのように有益であるかを議論しています。Dr. Beckyは著者のジェームズ・クリアーと話し、小さな行動が徐々に私たちの日常生活を改善する方法について話しました。

• The dialogue emphasizes the understanding of guilt and hardship often felt during parenting, particularly in relation to self-care habits. James Clear suggests approaching it with a mindset of forgiveness for oneself and understanding that our habits need to change as the seasons in our lives change.

• ダイアログでは、特に自己ケアの習慣に関連して親としてしばしば感じられる罪悪感と苦しみについて理解することが強調されています。ジェームズ・クリアーは、自己への許しと、私たちの人生の季節が変わるにつれて習慣が変わる必要があるという理解を持つことを提案しています。

• The need to say 'no' in order to create time for oneself is discussed, helping to realize that self-care requires effort and does not occur spontaneously.

• それは、自分自身のための時間を作るためには「ノー」を言う必要性について議論し、自己ケアが努力を必要とし、自然には生じないことを理解するのに役立ちます。

• Through dialogue, James Clear suggests practical ideas on how to squeeze in self-care time during a busy day, such as trading high leverage times of the day or managing fleeting moments effectively.

• ダイアログを通じて、ジェームズ・クリアーは忙しい一日の中で自己ケアの時間を押し込むための実用的なアイデア、例えば一日の中で高いレバレッジの時間を取引することや、移ろいやすい瞬間を効果的に管理することを提案しています。

• Lastly, James Clear recommends the '2-minute rule' for starting a new habit. The rule emphasizes focusing on starting the habit and not its outcome. This tactic helps to overcome procrastination and encourages consistency in performing an action.

• 最後に、ジェームズ・クリアーは新たな習慣を始めるための「2分間ルール」を推奨しています。このルールは、習慣を始めることに焦点を当て、その結果ではなく、この戦略は先延ばしを克服し、行動を行う一貫性を促進します。

★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】

• Dr. Becky（ドクター・ベッキー）
• Good Insight（グッドインサイト）
• James Clear（ジェームズ・クリア）
• Atomic Habits（アトミック・ハビッツ）

【英単語】

• habit（習慣）
• prioritize（優先する）
• self-care（自己ケア）
• difference（差）
• transition（遷移）
• attitude（態度）
• guilty（罪悪感）
• forgiveness（許し）
• realization（認識）
• protest（抗議）
• thankless（感謝の念を感じない）
• unique（ユニークな）
• conversation（会話）
• ambitious（野心的な）

【コロケーション】

• make a big difference（大きな違いを生む）
• get better every day（毎日より良くなる）
• have a hard time（苦しむ）
• brush their teeth（彼らの歯を磨く）
• small changes（小さな変化）
• turn down（断る）
• give up（諦める）
• come back to（戻ってくる）
• put into action（実行に移す）
• high leverage times（ハイレバレッジタイムズ）
• take care of（世話をする）
• show up（現れる）
• get started（始まる）
• the art of showing up（現れる芸術）

And it's really easy to start getting in this mindset of what could I do on my best day? Instead, I think the better frame is to ask yourself, what can I stick to even on the bad days? What habit can I perform even when I'm exhausted, or I don't have much time? Let's start there. Let's make that the baseline.

That's the two-minute rule, mastering the art of showing up. And then once you start to nail that, well if you have more time on a particular day, great.

[8:12]
You can expand it and improve from there. But the two-minute rule kind of pushes back on that perfectionist tendency or that desire to do more and encourages you to listen. Let's just master the really small thing. Let's take advantage of the next two minutes and see what we can turn that into.

Yeah, something I always have seen with my clients in my private practice, behavior change often precedes identity change, although we often want it to be the opposite. And I remember someone saying this to me, like, I'm not someone who goes to the gym, I'm not someone who works out and I want to be, but I'm not. That was keeping this person so stuck. It was kind of something very similar, like just taking a walk around the block. Yes, it wasn't weightlifting, it wasn't being in CrossFit, but all of a sudden she started saying very different things about herself, but only after these kind of small shifts.

Yeah, this is something I talk about in the book. True behavior change is really identity change. So the goal is not to read a book. The goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to do some silent meditation retreat.

[9:13]
The goal is to become a meditator. The goal is not to run a half marathon. It's to become a runner. And in those examples, I'm using actual labels, reader, runner, and meditator.

But it's also true for general characteristics that you would like to have as a person. I'm the type of person who shows up on time or I'm the type of person who finishes what they start. Once you start to take pride in that aspect of your identity, once you start to view yourself in that way, you're really motivated to stick to the habit. It's almost easier to do.

For example, the person who views themselves as a runner doesn't have to motivate themselves to go for a run the same way that somebody who's just getting started might. They might think, no, this is just part of what I do. This is part of my normal routine.

And I think this is the real reason, the true reason habits matter. A lot of the time we talk about habits mattering because of the external results they'll get you — they'll help you lose weight, get fit, make more money, be more productive. But they can do all that stuff and that's great.

[10:14]
Realistically though, habits matter because every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. So no, doing one pushup does not transform your body, but it does cast a vote for, "I'm the type of person who doesn't miss workouts."

And no, writing one sentence does not finish the novel that you dream of writing, but it does cast a vote for "I'm a writer." And individually, these are small things, but collectively, you start to build up this body of evidence. You keep casting votes on the pile, and it starts to shift the weight of the story in favor of that.

It's like, "Oh, now I have some proof that I am that kind of person." So, as you mentioned that behavior often precedes the identity. I mean, that's exactly how I think about it. This is the real reason why these small habits matter.

You know, you show up each day and you do some small thing and yeah, on any individual day it doesn't change your life but it does provide evidence of being that kind of person. And over time you have every reason in the world to believe it. So it does a very important thing which it reinforces your desired identity.

[11:14]
Yeah, I'm curious, as you become a dad, I've developed like systems and logic and linearity for certain things I do in life too. And I found that was really challenged when I became a mom. There's so much kind of chaos or unpredictability, or just, you know, a tantrum to me is a good example. It's just pure emotion coming out.

I'm curious, and not that I know you that well, but I'm guessing you're someone who really has systems. Curious if, what some of your struggles have been as a new dad even related to that?

I think there's this different way to define mental toughness, and persistence, and discipline. A lot of the time people talk about those traits, and I think especially before you have kids, it's easy to think about the systems you build as being like, I will always do this, I will always be consistent, I will forge through any obstacle. It's discipline in the face of challenge.

And I think there's actually a different version of mental toughness which is flexibility,

[12:15]
adaptability, the mindset that says "I can work with this," or "It doesn't matter what I'm doing or who I'm with, I can still be happy. It doesn't matter what resources I have, I can make this work."

And that, actually, I think is a much more resilient mindset, especially as a parent, because you find yourself in so many situations that were unplanned or suboptimal. There are so many times when you don't have what you want or your kids don't have what they need and you need to find a way to make it work.

So in a lot of ways, the flexible are the ones who prevail and the stubborn are actually brittle and break in the face of a challenge or something that they need to adapt to.

The greatest form of mental toughness is the ability to handle uncertainty. It's not the ability to prepare for every scenario. Preparation can still be useful. That doesn't mean, you know, it's not worthwhile to try to be prepared and to think about things. Generally speaking being prepared makes things easier for you.

But the expectation that you can prepare for every outcome or that you could preemptively worry about everything that could possibly happen

[13:16]
and then plan for it is just not reality. And so you need to have some level of calmness and some level of adaptability and realizing that I actually don't know what specifically we're going to be facing today.

But the most resilient thing that I can have is a mindset that can handle that uncertainty. And if you can get comfortable living in that space I think you're much better positioned to do what you need to do rather than to say, I need to have a perfect system that runs like a flawless machine all the time.

And I think that is hard for a lot of parents because, as you were saying, related to even self-care, that's easier before you have kids. And it's easier also before you have kids to develop things that work, even like your sense of flexibility, "Oh, I'll go to dinner at seven, or I'll go to dinner at nine. It doesn't really matter."

And then you have kids and you bring them to dinner and they start crying and you have to leave the restaurant and you're like, "I didn't get to have dinner at all." It's a different level of flexibility.

[14:17]
Yeah, yeah, that's so true. You find yourself in so many situations like that. I think I've had to remind myself, like if I need things to be a certain way, then I'm actually being held hostage by the situation.

So, I don't want my mood to be dependent on my conditions. That's actually the truest form of mental toughness. You can put me in the middle of whatever situation, but it doesn't determine everything about how I'm feeling or how I'm gonna react.

Does anyone achieve that? I don't think anybody does. But I think the question is, is that a useful mindset to hold? There are all these types of things in life that are like useful fictions, everything that we have is a story that we tell ourselves. If it's a useful story, if it helps you adapt, cope, or manage the situation, then great, it's something that's worth carrying.

I think what isn't useful is to say, "Well, there's no way that I can handle all the uncertainty that's coming to me so I'm going to try to plan for everything, I'm going to make sure that this is, I worry about every circumstance, I try to make sure that everything is,

[15:17]
pre-vetted." And it's like that also is something that's impossible. So you're trying to find the version of this mindset that feels most reliable or reasonable to you.

So I know we're approaching that back-to-school time and I get it, we all want to stay in summer mode. I just want to let you know that one of my favorite things to do is help parents get ahead of tough transitions.

★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★

• Attaining small goals on a daily basis, even on bad days, is a great way to build habits and boost motivation. Overall, small habits can result in a significant identity change. (毎日、たとえその日が良くない日であっても、小さな目標を達成することは、習慣を形成し、モチベーションを向上させる素晴らしい方法です。全体的に見て、小さな習慣は、大きなアイデンティティの変化をもたらすことができます。)

• "The two-minute rule", or mastering the art of simply showing up, is a powerful technique that can help combat the tendency to aim for perfection right away. (「2分ルール」、つまりただただ現れる技術をマスターすることは、すぐに完全さを狙おうとする傾向に対抗するのに役立つ強力なテクニックです。)

• Often, behavior change comes before an identity change. This change is fundamental and can greatly influence your life and self-image. (よくあるのは、行動の変化がアイデンティティの変化に先立つことです。この変化は基本的なもので、自己イメージや人生に大きな影響を及ぼす可能性があります。)

• The ability to deal with uncertainty is a vital aspect of mental toughness, especially when it comes to parenting. The more flexible and adaptable the parent, the better they will handle any challenges. (不確実性を対処する能力は、精神的な強さの重要な要素であり、特に育児においてはなおさらです。親が柔軟で適応性があればあるほど、あらゆる挑戦をうまく対処することができます。)

• Making plans is important, but being able to adapt to unexpected circumstances is what will truly help cope with the unpredictable situations, especially in cases involving children. (計画を立てることは重要ですが、がunexpectedな状況に対応することが、特に子どもが関わるケースでは、予測不能な状況に対処するための本当の助けになります。)

★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】

• CrossFit（クロスフィット）

【英単語】

• mindset（考え方）
• exhausted（疲れ切った）
• perfectionist（完璧主義者）
• identity（アイデンティティ）
• meditation（瞑想）
• marathon（マラソン）
• characteristics（特性）
• motivate（やる気を起こさせる）
• tantrum（癇癪）
• logical（論理的）
• linearity（直線性）
• persistence（粘り強さ）
• adaptability（適応力）
• resilient（回復力のある）
• preparation（準備）
• uncertainty（不確実性）
• reliable（信頼できる）

【コロケーション】

• master the art of（〜の技術を習得する）
• take advantage of（〜を利用する）
• behave change（行動変更）
• get started（始める)
• show up（現れる）
• stick to the habit（習慣を続ける）
• have reason to（〜する理由がある）
• get comfortable with（〜に慣れる）
• handle uncertainty（不確実性を対処する）
• constructive view（建設的な見方をする）
• depend on（〜に依存する）
• go to dinner（夕食を食べに行く）

So instead of feeling overwhelmed or guilty, you end up feeling like you crushed a really important moment in your and your kid's life.
Back to school is exactly one of those moments, so I wanted to make sure you knew about our back-to-school bundle.
With that bundle, you get a live workshop that gives you everything you need to know, and if you're too busy for a workshop, I totally get it. This is why you get a 10-day checklist and a mobile-first approach to support. In fact, you can text us after a hard drop off.

[16:20]

So you don't spiral or feel like a bad parent. This is one of the most popular times to jump into membership, so check it out at goodinside.com or via the link in show notes.
I think a lot about anxiety in that way, too. It’s kind of uncertainty plus our underestimation of our ability to cope. The more we underestimate our coping ability, the more we try to solve for the uncertainty side, which you can't solve for, rather than focusing on the coping-with-the-uncertainty side, which is, I agree, how we build resilience. And yet at the same time, I always feel like it's easier to name it an equation than play it out in real life. It's hard, especially when you have kids, and you care about their outcomes, and you care about them wrestling with uncertainty, wrestling with uncertainty as a parent, I'm like, "Well, what's the right decision? What's the right school for them? Or should I let them quit soccer? Is sticking with soccer going to be a character building thing for them, right?"

[17:20]

The more invested you are, the harder it is to sit with uncertainty. I start to think that the through-line is the mindset and the attitude and the approach, not any individual circumstance.

There was this interesting study done on kids who were rejected from Harvard and kids who were accepted there. It looked at the success outcomes, say, five or ten years down the line. I don't remember the exact timeframe. But what they found was there was no significant difference. Interestingly, there was a difference with another group, which was the group who didn't apply to Harvard.

The most meaningful metric was whether you applied or not, not whether you were accepted. And I think the lesson that I took from that was that getting into a particular school or graduating or landing a particular job, or all these other milestones that we have in life - any single instance actually doesn't matter that much.

[18:21]

You wake up the next day and you still have to live life again, and you still have to go through whatever the next challenge is. But if you have the kind of mindset where you believe in yourself, bet on yourself, or you're willing to push through and persist in challenge, then nobody knows what the next thing is going to be. Still, by applying that mindset to whatever your next challenge is, you're going to eventually get to a place where you've had enough shots on goal that something good is going to happen.

I think it's really about instilling that in your kids - worrying less about, "Should they quit soccer or not?" and more about, "Are we fostering the mindset that they need so whatever the next thing is, they can apply it to that?" Then you turn around 10, 20, or 30 years later, and they've had a lot of shots on goal at that point, and they eventually find their way.

We all are just trying to figure this out. Nobody has the answers, and everybody's life and path is unique. The only thing that we can focus on is that kind of resilient mindset that you can apply broadly and generally to whatever specific situation they happen to be facing. I hear you, and I agree.

[19:21]

All right, any last thoughts on habits, parents, and kids, anything there like, "Oh, I gotta get this in. People have to know this?" Yeah, I think so. So the final thing that I'll say is that if you're trying to build a habit, you might want to keep a high-level framework in your mind.

[20:22]

There are really four things that you need to do. You want to make the habit obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. That high-level view improves the odds that a behavior is going to occur. So if you're thinking, "I keep trying to get my kid to do this habit, but they keep procrastinating." Or if it's personal, and you say, "I do it every now and then, but I keep being inconsistent," you can ask yourself: "How can I make the habit more obvious? More attractive? How can I make it easier? More satisfying?" The answers to these questions will reveal ways that you can take to improve the odds of the behavior's occurrence.

[21:23]

Now, there are many things you can do in each of these categories; many ways to make habits obvious and easy, and so on. But let that be your 10,000-foot level. If you walk around and think about the habits you're trying to build, look around and ask yourself, "What can I do to make this more obvious or attractive? How can I make this easier on myself and more satisfying?" You're going to find a couple of things that you could tweak or improve.

It dovetails so nicely with, to me, a core question we can always ask: whenever you're frustrated in any relationship, what's the most generous interpretation of the situation? You can naturally come up with the least generous answer, but then remember your four questions about habits.

[22:24]

"Why is my son always forgetting to bring his homework to school?" You ask yourself, "How can I make that habit more obvious for him?" He comes up with, "I'll write a note and put it on my bedroom door." I think about the principle of 'the obvious,' like, "What can I do to remind him his homework is right here on the wall?" Instead of assuming that they're trying to pull one over on you, find ways like these to make habits visible and more obvious. It's a really fantastic move.

★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★

• The speaker discusses the role of mindset and resilience in facing life's challenges like uncertainties in parenting to outcomes of their children's decisions.

• The speaker references a study, wherein Harvard applicants and non-applicants were assessed. It was found that the act of applying rather than the acceptance made a difference, emphasizing the importance of taking shots in life.

• The conversation veers towards instilling a resilient mindset in children, focusing less on individual circumstances and more on ensuring they are equipped to face any challenge.

• The speaker also shares a four-step framework to effectively form habits: Make the habit Obvious, Attractive, Easy, and Satisfying, which can provide solutions for a child's procrastination or parent's inconsistency in habit formation.

• Balancing this practical approach with a generous interpretation of a child's behavior helps foster their independence and responsibility.

会話者は親が子供の決定の結果についての不確実性など、人生の難題に立ち向かうためのマインドセットと抵抗力の役割について語ります。

ハーバード大学の出願者と非出願者を評価した研究を参照し、受け入れられることよりも出願する行為が違いを生むと述べ、人生でショットを打つ重要性を強調しています。

会話は、子供に抵抗力のあるマインドセットを植え付ける方向へと進み、個々の環境に焦点を当てるのではなく、彼らがどんな挑戦にも立ち向かえるようにすることに焦点を当てています。

話し手はまた、習慣を形成するための効果的な4つのステップの枠組みを共有します：習慣を明確にし、魅力的にし、簡単にし、満足のいくものにします。これにより子供の先延ばしや親の習慣形成の一貫性のなさに対する解決策を提供することができます。

この実用的なアプローチと子供の行動に対する寛大な解釈をバランスよく取ることで、子供たちの自立と責任感を育むのに役立ちます。

★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】

• Harvard（ハーヴァード大学）

【英単語】

• overwhelmed（圧倒される）
• guilty（罪悪感を感じる）
• crush（押しつぶす）
• bundle（バンドル）
• workshop（ワークショップ）
• checklist（チェックリスト）
• underestimate（過小評価する）
• resilience（レジリエンス、回復力）
• equation（方程式）
• outcome（結果）
• uncertainty（不確実性）
• invested（投資された）
• through-line（根幹）
• mindset（マインドセット）
• attitude（態度）
• apply（適用する）
• metric（メトリック、測定基準）
• landing（着地する）
• milestones（節目、里程標）
• persist（固執する）
• instill（植え付ける）
• fostering（育成）
• resilient（抵抗力がある）
• procrastinating（先延ばしにする）
• inconsistent（信頼性がない）
• dovetails（整合する）
• generous（寛大な）
• interpretaion（解釈）
• visible（見える）
• principle（原則）

【コロケーション】

• feeling overwhelmed（圧倒されている感じ）
• make sure（確認する）
• get a live workshop（ライブワークショップを受ける）
• jump into membership（会員になる）
• kids care about（子供たちは気にする）
• wrestling with uncertainty（不確定性と取り組む）
• sit with uncertainty（不確定性と向き合う）
• look at the success outcomes（成功結果を調べる）
• had enough shots on goal（十分なショット数をゴールに向かって打つ）
• instilling that in your kids（それを子供に植え付ける）
• have the answer（答えを持つ）
• build a habit（習慣を作る）
• improve the odds（成功の確率を上げる）
• come up with（思いつく）
• the most generous interpretation（最も寛大な解釈）

As someone who possesses excellent proofreading skills, I have been asked to proofread this AI transcription of a dialogue-based program.

"Like, if you're in the blue reading group, you put your books in the blue bin, and you sit at the blue table. It's just a visual connection that makes it easier for the kids.

[23:24]
And honestly, it's not just kids, think about adults. When you pack for vacation, you get ready to walk out the door, and you're like touching your pockets. You have your keys, wallet, phone, you know? You're doing the same kind of double check those principles of making it obvious and attractive and easy and satisfying. You can think of many different ways to apply them. But coming back to that, it gives you a little bit of a guide for what you can actually do to help better behaviors and make it easier on your kids.

That's right, I think with our kids, I sometimes get push back from parents. They tell me transitions are hard, like going to the bath or getting ready for bed and this is because kids are anticipating separation. They're smart, they get that if they do that, they have to separate from you. But also, they're often not fun. So when we talk about, oh, you know, do we want to race to the bath, or do you want me to pick you up like a plane, I hope it's not too turbulent, and I'll zoom you in, parents say like 'oh, so I have to make a joke to get my kid to listen or have that habit?'. I think about adults, though, I don't know. I would engage in any habit more if it were fun.

[24:24]
Like, if it's enjoyable, we're going to want to do it. And if someone said to me, 'hey, do you want to take a walk with me every Tuesday, and by the way, I will hardly talk to you, I will be on my phone the whole time, and I'm not going to look like I enjoyed it', I would pass on that. So I think that your structure also normalizes for us as parents. It's not like having to play a game, and it doesn't mean I am going to have to tell my 20-year-old kid one day that I am going to zoom them to the room so they can take a shower, it just means all habits are easier when they're enjoyable.

For sure, and I am glad you brought this up because it's very important. In atomic habits, I call it the cardinal rule of behavior change. Behaviors that are immediately rewarded get repeated, and behaviors that get immediately punished are avoided. This is, as you say, just part of human experience: we want to do things that are enjoyable and avoid things that are unpleasurable.

[25:27]
So I think it's worth asking, not just for your routines and habits with your kids, but also with yourself. What would this habit look like if it were fun? What would it look like if it were enjoyable for us to brush our teeth every night and practice that habit together? What would it look like if it were fun for me to meditate each day? What form would that habit take for that to be possible? Just asking this question will probably surface a couple of ideas that you could have for improving the chances that you will be able to follow through on this. And I just want to say to everyone, this is James Clear approved, it's true, you can do this, making it fun is not cheating, it's part of the system, right? Would you say it's fair to say you're signing off on fun?

Yeah, of course. Everything is going to be more enjoyable if it's fun. So you want to try to find ways to make this pleasurable. I mean if we want to get scientific about it, the process of building a habit, the last part of the feedback loop is the reward. Not every behavior in life is rewarding, sometimes things have a consequence, and they're just neutral and don't mean much. But the reward, the pleasure, the enjoyment, the fun of the experience is a significant part of the process.

[26:29]
It teaches your brain that was beneficial, and you should do this again in a similar situation. It kind of closes the feedback loop, tightens the process of learning, and helps instill the habit. Your brain wants to repeat things that are beneficial to you and avoid things that are not. So how can we enhance that experience and make it more enjoyable?

The one thing I am going to add about the reward, and I don't know if you realize this, but most of my listeners know this: I feel mixed, at best, about praise from parents, even though you've mentioned it, it's kind of like a 'reward system'. There are many ways kids can feel reward or find something rewarding. One experience is internal reward or feeling good about oneself. Another experience is people giving me praise. Of course, praise always feels good to me, it's also a human experience. Still, I believe kids' internal motivation, confidence, identity, and ability to handle situations as they get older kind of relates to this gap around a person feeling good about themselves and what they do internally versus how good they feel when people praise them.

[27:29]
The wider that gap is, the more vulnerable you are to all types of anxiety and almost like an identity crisis, right? Like, can I feel good about something without someone telling me they liked it on Instagram as an example? Let's say it's my son, and he finally brings his homework to school. One thing I can do at the end of that is to say I am so proud of you, that's amazing you did it, or here's something I want to give you, here's an M&M or whatever it is. But in a way, I am also training my kid about what reward he should expect, not just a reward in good feeling but also where the reward comes from.

Does it come from me, or does it come from him? And I do believe the more we train our kids to look out for a reward, that practice becomes habitual, too. Now, do I think when we say to our kids, I am proud of you, we're like traumatizing our kids? Of course not.

[28:30]
Obviously, I say those words too. But there's something when your kids are developing habits, or doing things, I think about it in my mind, and I pause. I think, first of all, there might be something inherently rewarding. My son might come and say I felt like my teacher was really happy with me and that I can't believe I did that, and that is something untouchable that I am going to repeat tomorrow. This is the type of rewarding feeling that will encourage my son to develop more habits that orient toward intrinsic reward.

Because I think one of the things we often miss as parents is, I don't think any of us want to be the parent who is always saying, 'Did you see that? Did you see how good that was? Did you see my Legos? Did you see me dribbling outside?' You know? It's not even good for us. We feel like, 'Yeah, I saw it, stop asking me.' And I think when they're young, we have to be really mindful about how much we're using something like external rewards or praise if that's not something long-term we want to build and reinforce.

I think that's a great point, and I really like the way you describe the gap between how you feel about yourself and how much validation you get from the outside. You don't want that gap to be very wide. It doesn't mean we don't want praise from the outside because after all, life is results-driven in many ways. We all like to have external praise, and it's natural to feel good when I praise them. They should know they're loved and validated. But, we also don't want an imbalance where external praise is so high while your internal validation is so low; it leads to a constant chase for praise from others.

[30:31]
Praising your kids is a tool; it's not about tricks or strategies. I feel good when I praise my kids, it's nice to be proud of them, and they should know that they're loved and validated. But I also think you shouldn't have to try to trick them or have some strategy or something."

★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★

• The conversation discussed the importance of making habits enjoyable, both for adults and children, suggesting this increases the likelihood of habit formation and continuation.
• Participants discussed the concept of rewards as a factor motivating habits but highlighted the difference between external rewards such as praise and internal rewards like self-satisfaction.
• They pointed out the dangers of over-reliance on external rewards, indicating that it could lead to issues like anxiety and identity crises in children as they grow older.
• The discussion pointed out the need for balance between external praise and internal validation when it comes to building and reinforcing habits.
• The conversation culminated with a reaffirmation of the importance of praising children, emphasizing it as more of a tool of validation rather than a trick or strategy to form habits.

• この会話では、習慣を楽しむことの重要性が大人と子供の両方で議論され、これが習慣形成と継続の可能性を高めることを示唆しています。
• 参加者たちは、習慣を動機づける要素としての報酬の概念について議論し、賞賛などの外部の報酬と自己満足のような内部の報酬との違いを強調しました。
• 彼らは、外部報酬に過度に依存する危険性を指摘し、これが子供たちが成長するにつれて不安やアイデンティティ危機などの問題につながる可能性があることを示しています。
• 議論は、習慣を築き、強化するための外部の称賛と内部の承認のバランスが必要であることを指摘しました。
• 会話は、子供たちを褒める重要性の再確認で終わり、それを習慣を形成するための策略や戦略ではなく、むしろ承認の工具として強調しました。

★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】

• James Clear（ジェームズ・クリア）

【英単語】

• proofread（校正する）
• transcription（書き起こし）
• dialogue-based program（対話型プログラム）
• behavior（行動）
• transition（移行）
• anticipating（予期する）
• engagement（参加）
• improvising（即興）
• cardinal rule（基本法則）
• feedback loop（フィードバックループ）
• reward（報酬）
• consequence（結果）
• motivation（動機付け）
• identifying（識別する）
• vulnerable（脆弱な）
• anxiety（不安）
• identity crisis（アイデンティティ・クライシス）
• validation（承認）
• strategy（戦略）

【コロケーション】

• possess skills（スキルを持つ）
• double check（再度確認する）
• make a joke（冗談を言う）
• follow through on（〜を最後までやり遂げる）
• sign off on（〜を承認する）
• be beneficial for（〜に利益をもたらす）
• instill habit（習慣を植えつける）
• feel good about oneself（自己満足を感じる）
• look out for a reward（報酬を期待する）
• handling situations（状況を処理する）
• develop habits（習慣を発展させる）
• encourage to develop（〜するように促す）

Like, I think the best way to do it
is just to talk about it kind of the way that you did,
where you said, "How did that feel?"
And so they can realize that,
"Oh, actually I like myself when I do that,
not just other people like me, but I like who I am,"
because that's really,
I think what you're hoping to get to
is where they feel comfortable enough with themselves
that they do a habit because of how they feel,
not because of how it makes other people feel.

Now, I'm back at the beginning of the podcast.

I'm Christy Kupsch.

I'm Jenny Cuthbert.

And today we're talking about parents.
We're going to answer some of the top questions
that parents get asked on this podcast.
And we've asked if they want to be a parent.
But we're also going to talk about
if they want to be a dad.
So let's dive in.

As you might expect,
parents often don't know what to expect
from their child.

Good.

I'm so excited to share GoodInside membership, the first platform that brings together content

[31:32]
and experts you trust, with a global community of liked, valued parents.
It's totally game changing.
GoodInside with Dr. Becky is produced by Jessie Baker and Eric Newsome at Magnificent Noise.
Our production staff includes Sabrina Farhi, Julia Nat, and Kristen Muller.

I would also like to thank Erica Belsky,
Mary Panico, and the rest of the Good Inside team.
And one last thing before I let you go,
let's end by placing our hands on our hearts
and reminding ourselves,
even as I struggle
and even as I have a hard time on the outside,
I remain Good Inside.

★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★

• The dialogue discusses the importance of introspection and self-appreciation in forming habits, rather than being influenced by others' opinions.
• The hosts introduce themselves and express intent to discuss parenting, specifically addressing questions parents often face about their children's expectations and the choice to become a parent.
• They share their excitement about 'GoodInside membership'—a platform combining expert content and a global community of parents, describing it as 'game-changing.'
• The production team and the rest of the Good Inside team are acknowledged and thanked.
• The dialogue concludes with a self-encouragement to remain good even amidst personal struggles and difficulties.

• この対話では、他人の意見に影響されるのではなく、自己内省と自己評価を形成する習慣の重要性について話し合っています。
• ホストが自己紹介し、親について、特に親がしばしば直面する子供たちの期待と親になる選択について話し合う意図を表明します。
• それらは、専門家のコンテンツと親のグローバルコミュニティを組み合わせた「GoodInsideメンバーシップ」についての興奮を共有し、「ゲームチェンジング」と表現しています。
• プロダクションチームとGood Insideチームの残りのメンバーに対する感謝と謝辞が述べられています。
• 対話は、個人的な闘争や困難の中でも自分自身を良い状態に保つように自己励ましをすることで結論づけられます。

★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】

• Christy Kupsch（クリスティ・クプシュ）
• Jenny Cuthbert（ジェニー・カスバート）
• GoodInside（グッドインサイド）
• Dr. Becky（ドクター・ベッキー）
• Jessie Baker（ジェシー・ベーカー）
• Eric Newsome（エリック・ニューサム）
• Sabrina Farhi（サブリナ・ファーヒ）
• Julia Nat（ジュリア・ナット）
• Kristen Muller（クリスティン・ミュラー）
• Erica Belsky（エリカ・ベルスキー）
• Mary Panico（メアリー・パニコ）
• Magnificent Noise（マグニフィセント・ノイズ）

【英単語】

• feel（感じる）
• realize（気づく）
• habit（習慣）
• parents（両親）
• question（質問）
• expect（予想する）
• content（内容）
• community（コミュニティ）
• memebership（会員）
• platform（プラットフォーム）
• struggle（苦闘）

【コロケーション】

• talk about（話す）
• feel comfortable（快適に感じる）
• back at the beginning（最初に戻る）
• asked if they want（彼らが望むか尋ねた）
• dive in（飛び込む）
• don't know what to expect（何を期待すればいいかわからない）
• expect from their child（彼らの子供から期待する）
• let's end by（〜で終わろう）
• have a hard time（苦労する）