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thunder0512.hatenablog.com
長いので、主な注意点を最初に🙏（GPT-4 APIの使用でだいぶよくなったと思いますが…）
- [mm:ss]というタイムスタンプは、入っているところと入っていないところがあるかも。
- 「-Japan（日本）」「-Barak Obama（バラク・オバマ）」があるかも。単語帳作成のためのプロンプト中に例として挙げたものが紛れ込んでいる可能性があります。
- proofreadについてなど、ChatGPTへのプロンプトを本文と誤認している場合もあるかも。
- その他にも日本語訳が抜けているなど不完全な部分は多々あるかと思いますが、基本的にはChatGPTの限界だと思ってご了承ください。。
- 誤訳や不完全な文字起こしがあったとしても、なんの責任も負えませんので、ご自身で確かめながらご利用ください。
"This is Good Inside and I'm Dr. Becky. Today, we're talking with Lovey Ajayi-Jones about troublemaking. No, not the bad kind of troublemaking, the good kind. I feel like I am giving little Lovey the lessons that I wanted to ensure I would have received over and over again. That sometimes I did for my mom, sometimes I might not have and how like big Lovie now, I know when I make mistakes, it's often hard to remove myself from the mistake itself. It's okay to make mistakes. You just have to learn and grow from them. Also, you are bigger than the mistake that you made. Like you are still lovable, you are still worthy of confidence. You are still somebody who deserves grace and compassion. Lovey's latest book is 'Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess'. It's the children's version of a book she originally wrote for grown-ups and then adapted for teens.
[1:02]
What I love about the book is that it shows us that good kids with good intentions sometimes struggle to make good decisions. And this doesn't call for punishments or lectures, but for connection and learning. We'll be back in a minute. I'm a mom who's a baby girl. I'm not an adult. I always used to think I was a baby girl. I don't think I was a baby girl. I also don't think I was. Yeah, I think I was. No, that's actually not true. I was a baby girl. I was a midwest girl. Look, I'll make it even more obvious. I didn't grow up a midwest girl. I grew up in the midwest. I'm not a midwest girl. I was a middle schooler. My tutor is a middle schooler. He's not a middle schooler. I was a middle schooler. I'm not a middle schooler. And I knew I was. I was a middle schooler. I'm a middle schooler. Of children struggle with this so I'm thinking you get it from experience. So if poop can be a problem, what is a possible solution? Well, adding in Seed's PDS08, the clinically studied 2 in 1, daily probiotic and prebiotic helps your kid go![2:03]
As a clinical psychologist, I love science. I love evidence and Seed is a true science company. They're not messing around here. In a recent clinical trial, children experiencing intermittent constipation taking seeds PDS-08 saw significant improvement in healthier more frequent bowel movements. With nine probiotic strains and a meaningful dose of prebiotic fiber, you can support your child's overall health with PDS-08 and improve their poops. What a win-win, right? Use code GOODINSIDE for 20% off your first month of seeds PDS-08 daily symbiotic, plus free shipping. You have now written three books about being a troublemaker. That is three books about being a troublemaker. And so, I just want to know more.[3:04]
Where I want to start is, I guess, where I'm often curious about with people, like, were you always a troublemaker? And kind of who inspired you or what inspired you to become a trouble maker? Yes, I have actually written three books. It was not the plan to write three books about this, but hey, that's where we found ourselves. But I think I actually have always been a troublemaker. And for me, what I determined that to be is like the person who will do the thing that they know that other people might not like because they feel like it is the right thing to do. So I was the kid who got in trouble for her mouth because I would challenge authority in Nigeria in a big part of culture over there is just respect for elders, as a Yoruba person specifically. You're taught early on that you need to have deference for anybody who's older than you, to the point where in Yoruba language, there's actually pronouns for when you're speaking to somebody who's older than you. We don't have pronouns for he or her, but we have pronouns when you're speaking to an elder.[4:07]
That was a kid who got in trouble because my brother, who is four years older than me, whenever he would challenge me or he'll say something that I didn't like, I would always say something back. And technically I wasn't supposed to, but I'd be like, look, he disrespected me first. Like that wasn't fair. So you just happened to hear the part that I said back to him. So I would do that over and over again. And so when I got in trouble was literally for that all the time. So, and I'll do it. And then afterwards when I got in trouble, I'd tell my mom whatever the punishment that I got was afterwards, I'd go, mom, I don't... I think you owe me an apology cause that wasn't fair. And she would say, you're out of your mind, or she would say, oh, yeah, I'm sorry, Lovey. She would literally just laugh me off. She's just like, go sit down somewhere, okay? But, like, I felt better because I said what I felt like I needed to say. Like, I couldn't withhold what I had to say. So I'd be like, well, I said it to her, so I did my part. So can you walk everyone listening through, like, kind of an arc of, like, the main theme of what little Lovey does, how she kind of makes trouble? Because I'd like to kind of get into some details, but it would require setting a foundation.[5:11]
Yes. So, I've always wanted to write a story about Little Me because I think about all the little girls who were kind of overconfident, had a lot of mischief, they were really—they're really kind. They have big hearts, big feelings, big personalities, and kind of the ways in which we show up in the world. Because the confidence gap for kids, especially girls starts at 10 or 11. So I was like, I want to start writing about this little girl whose problem is the opposite. She's overconfident and she has to learn that sometimes you might not know everything. Sometimes, you might need help. Sometimes, you actually do need to listen to the people around you and I see your heart. I see your kindness. I see where you're coming from and I want you to be able to channel it properly. So, 'Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess' is about this little version of me who wants to do something nice for her mom, and her sister's like, let's not, okay? There's food in the fridge, and she basically tries to cook herself, and it goes awry.[6:12]
She makes double messes, and at the end of the book, she learns that one, you gotta listen to people because sometimes, rules are there to keep you safe, but then two, I love you anyway. Even though you made this big mess, I love you anyway, but help me clean it up. All those... so many things can be held as true there. Yes. And I mean, there's so many things, Lovie, that resonate about this book and this story. And one of the core things that I think you actually illustrate, right, that's illustrated in this book is... she is a good kid who is having a hard time. She's a good kid with good intentions. Who hasn't quite figured out the exact way to turn her intentions into a helpful reality. Yes. But, because she made kind of that mistake, that doesn't mean the bad thing made her a bad kid. Like her identity is separate from her behavior. You really show those as separate. Which I think is so easy,[7:12]
and I'm gonna put myself there too, right? I have three kids. In a moment when you're like, oh my goodness, my kid just created a disaster in my kitchen, it's really easy to scold your kid, in that moment, as if they are the mess. As if they are the mistake. What is wrong with you? And I always can act it out. Well, because I've said it so many times. I've had practice, you know, with my own children. But separating instead in your book, this is a kid who's trying to do big things. Don't we want our kids to do big, helpful things in the world? But she hasn't figured out how to channel that yet. You know what's interesting is this book is actually, I feel like I am giving little Luvvie the lessons that I wanted to make sure I would've received over and over again. Yes. It's okay to make mistakes. You just have to learn and grow from them. Also, you are bigger than the mistake that you made. Like you are still lovable. You are still worthy of confidence. You are still somebody who deserves grace and compassion,[8:13]
even if it's embarrassing. So it's interesting. I actually wrote it for grown-up me who needs to hear this and who needs to feel this, who needs to remember the little version of her needed to give herself grace in these moments too. Yeah, that's so powerful, right? The things we needed to hear as kids are still the things we need to tell ourselves now. Probably the things we wanna share with other people. It's all the same message, yeah. I often think when I struggle with something, like I do the way I ground myself, you know, when I yell at my kids or snap at someone or whatever it is, it's like, I am not proud of my latest behavior and my latest behavior doesn't define me."★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★
- The program features Dr. Becky in conversation with Lovey Ajayi-Jones about her book "Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess," which showcases that good kids sometimes struggle to make good decisions, emphasizing the need for communication and learning over punishment.
- They express love for science and evidence, noting how Seed's PDS-08, a probiotic and prebiotic, can significantly help children with intermittent constipation and support overall health.
- Lovey talks about her life, reflecting on how as a child in Nigeria, she was brave enough to challenge authority and demand fairness, despite societal norms.
- Lovey highlights the story arc of "Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess," where the overconfident protagonist learns the importance of listening to others and acknowledging her mistakes without losing her sense of self-worth.
- The discussion emphasizes that children, and adults alike, should separate their identity from their behavior, recognizing the value and potential in making mistakes and learning from them.
- このプログラムでは、Dr. BeckyがLovey Ajayi-Jonesとの会話を特集し、彼女の本「リトルトラブルメーカー・メークス・ア・メス」を紹介します。この本では、良い子供たちが良い判断をすることに苦労することを描き出し、罰や説教ではなくコミュニケーションと学びの必要性を強調しています。
- 彼らは科学とエビデンスを愛し、プロバイオティックとプレバイオティックのPDS-08が、間欠性の便秘に悩む子供たちを大いに助け、全体的な健康を支えることができると述べています。
- Loveyは彼女の人生について語り、社会的な規範にもかかわらず、権威に挑戦し、公正を求める勇気を持つ子供だったことを振り返っています。
- Loveyは「リトルトラブルメーカー・メークス・ア・メス」のストーリーアークについて強調し、自己価値観を失わないまま他人に耳を傾け、自分の過ちを認めることの重要性を学ぶ過信気味な主人公を描いています。
- この話し合いでは、子供たち、そして大人たちも自分自身と自分の行動を切り離すべきであり、間違いを犯し、そこから学ぶことに価値と可能性を認識すべきであると強調しています。
★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】
- Dr. Becky（ドクター・ベッキー）
- Lovey Ajayi-Jones（ラヴィ・アジャイ-ジョーンズ）
- Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess（リトル・トラブルメーカー・メイクス・ア・メス）
- Seed's PDS08（シーズ・PDS08）
- Nigeria（ナイジェリア）
- Yoruba（ヨルバ）
【英単語】
- troublemaking（トラブルメイキング）
- confidence（自信）
- compassion（思いやり）
- lecture（講義）
- obvious（明らか）
- pronoun（代名詞）
- deference（敬意）
- mischief（いたずら）
- mom（ママ）
- behavior（行動）
【コロケーション】
- make a mistake（失敗する）
- grow from them（それらから成長する）
- deserve grace and compassion（恩恵と慈悲に値する）
- speak back to（反論する）
- challenge authority（権威に挑む）
- listen to the people（人々の意見を聞く）
- make a mess（散らかす）
- separate from behavior（行動から切り離す）
- give herself grace（自身に寛大さを与える）
"It is that separating behavior on one side, identities on another, and I think people worry, 'They're like, doesn't that let you off the hook?' And I'm always like, 'You know how you can let yourself off the hook for change? You can spiral in self-blame, like do you wanna never change? Okay, the best way to never change is to shame yourself and blame yourself. Physiologically, it's a freeze response, and change is the opposite of freeze.'
[9:13]
'So if you wanna leave yourself on the hook, it's not like I say, oh Becky, I yelled at my kids, I'm gonna go party and celebrate myself.' Obviously, not that, that would be kind of odd. But there's a lot between that and spiraling into, 'I'm a monster, I'm the worst.' And what's in between I think is separating, 'I'm not proud of my behavior, my behavior doesn't define me.' Now that I've separated those two things, I can then, I think, have the energy to ask, 'What do I need to do to change?' And I think little Lovie kind of figures that out in the book because your book, it made me reflect on my own childhood. I was a good girl. I was not a troublemaker. I was not, I'm just growing into my trouble-makingness. It's never too late. Never too late. Exactly. But I wasn't. I think I got the message so early, that all my good behaviors assured me of my good identity. And so the best way to be all the good things, kids want to be loved, and valued, and worthy, was to notice what everyone wanted of me, and kind of mold myself accordingly, and be convenient.[10:17]
'Be convenient. Mm, be convenient. Oh, let's talk about that. Let's talk about that.' Convenience is a personality trait that a lot of us will adopt as a way to feel lovable and accepted. Even me, the troublemaker, there are times when I struggle with that, where I want to be the convenient friend, the one who's not asking you for a favor, the one who's not like, 'I need a ride to the grocery store. You know what, I'm just going to Uber myself anyway, even though I'm going to be carrying seven bags because I want to be convenient, so I'm not bothering you, so I'm not a burden on you.' Yeah. Convenience. Is that the opposite, in a way, of good trouble? Yes. Yes. And let's be clear, we can be troublemakers in one area in our lives and still be the good girl, the convenient person in the other area. So it's not like once you become a troublemaker personally, you're going to be a troublemaker professionally. It is like, you'll find silos. Like, I struggled with being a troublemaker in friendships. Because I was a kid who was like, 'I don't ever want to be a burden on those who are not obligated to me at all.'[11:17]
'So I want to be the friend who's just like, you don't gotta worry about me, I'm low maintenance. You know, as a partner, I'm low maintenance. I had to like, take myself out of the idea that we were not born to be convenient to the world.' It's so interesting you say that. Talk about being born. Like babies are the least convenient people, right? Yes! They literally are like, 'I am hungry! It is 2 in the morning. I don't give a damn. Like, I am going to scream to get my food.' And they're never like, 'Is it too much? Is it too much? Am I too loud, Mom? Yeah! Like, sorry. Have I yelled too much?' Right from birth, you are a ball of desire and want expressed, and yeah, you're right. Kids, 'It is, it's the word I think about the most with kids that I feel like people don't tell parents. Like, just so you know, your child is going to be very inconvenient. They're not bad, but when they have that tantrum in the grocery store, I'm also like, this is, I did not plan for this. I did not want this. This is very inconvenient. I was just trying to pick up some Honey Nut Cheerios.'[12:18]
'Like, I did not want the meltdown about the chocolate, and now I'm gonna be late to my other appointment. It's so inconvenient when someone else has something they want that's not in line with your wants. It's inconvenient.' Yeah, it is inconvenient. But I think about how many ways have we swallowed down the truest version of ourselves because we did not want to be inconvenient. In so many instances can we think about our lives where we've lived out moments that have shaped the rest of our lives simply because we didn't want to be inconvenient? How often do we go against what is our purpose because we don't want an inconvenience, whether it's our parents' desires for us, whether it's the dreams we think we should have, whether it's what we should be doing, whether we should ... People, everyone thinks I should go to college. I'm only going to go to college because I want to go ... We define our lives in the moments where we're like, 'I don't want to be inconvenient, so I'm just going to go with somebody else's desire.' And I just always think about, when I'm on my death bed, will I be proud of the moments[13:18]
'where I chose somebody else's wants over mine. Will I look back on my life and go, I am proud that I made sure everybody else got what they want, not me?' Yeah, I probably won't be. So I got to choose different. Can you speak a little—I know speaking about convenience and life path and parents, there were some moments you thought you were going to be a doctor. Yes. 'I thought I was gonna be Doc McStuffins before Doc McStuffins was a thing.' You really missed out. I did, I did. That would have been—that would have been a good cartoon. 'I missed out. That would have been—man, that would have been, okay? Missed out.' Yeah, I thought I was gonna be a doctor because growing up, like, literally from the time I was five—so I've always been really smart, I started reading at three. Like, I was a three-year-old who would randomly just, like, open a newspaper and just start reading for no reason. I was super bookish so it's funny like as much of a troublemaker as I was, I was a kid who would come home from school, you ain't got to tell me to do my homework. I literally would open because I enjoyed doing work and reading and school. I was always number one or two in my class.[14:21]
'I grew up in Nigeria. They ranked you from the time you were little. So like, when you got your report card at five, they actually ranked you on your performance at school. So I was always either number one or number two in my class. Everybody was like, 'You're really smart. You're gonna be a doctor' and I was like, 'Yeah, because I want to help the world and I'm gonna become a doctor.' So I took that dream on. I had heard it so much that I took the dream on and then I started college and got a D in chemistry and realized I don't even like science or hospitals. And that's when the dream died. But what's interesting is when the dream of doctor died, it died very quickly, without counsel. Because it wasn't yours. It wasn't mine. I wasn't reaching out to people like 'Yo, should I drop my degree?' It was very clear. I was like, 'Nah, I don't want to do this.' And I instantly dropped it. And I was like, 'Well, my mom will deal. She'll be alright.' And she was alright. She didn't find out till graduation, though. Gotta keep some things to ourselves. You know? Got to be smart in our troublemaking, you know? Exactly. And is that in terms of when people are thinking about being a troublemaker, right?[15:23]
'I think what I think, troublemaker, like, I don't know. I picture some, like, kid in my elementary school class, like, pulling out the seat from under me or something. That's not right. But you're saying this, like wait, that dream wasn't mine. Like that dream of being a doctor, that wasn't mine to begin with. I've absorbed it but it wasn't mine and maybe I can create space for my own dream. It probably won't pop up in the same moment but give me space to figure that out, be less convenient to the dreams of other people that they might have put on me, is that the type of trouble, you know, you speak of?' I mean I think about us making trouble within ourselves, us disrupting ourselves. Because to be a troublemaker truly just really means that you are somebody who's dedicated to being a person of positive impact in this world, and you will do what needs to be done, which also includes honoring yourself. Right? Like, that I think is the most important type of trouble we can make first, is start to honor yourself. You have to start being clear about what's yours, and what's other people's.[16:23]
'And then being as true to it as possible. Like, there are people who will not date the people they want to date because they're like, 'My parents won't like them.' There are people who will not go with the career they want. 'My parents only want me to be this thing. So I'm just going to do this thing.' So when we start the trouble, it should start with us first internally."★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★
- The speaker emphasizes the importance of distinguishing personal behavior from personal identity when aiming for self-improvement, stating that shame and self-blame are counterproductive and inhibit change.
- 分かち合う行動とアイデンティティを分けることの重要性を強調し、恥や自己責任は非生産的で変化を妨げると述べています。
- The speaker argues that convenience is not equivalent to being good or considerate, but rather it often signifies hiding true feelings or desires to avoid being an inconvenience to others, leading to loss of authenticity.
- スピーカーは、便利さが良いか配慮深いことと同等でなく、むしろ他人に迷惑をかけたくないという真実の感情や欲望を隠すことをしばしば意味しており、これが真実性の喪失につながると主張しています。
- The speaker reflects on their own history of conforming to societal expectations, which included a plan to become a doctor, a dream which faded quickly when they realized it was not their own but one thrust upon them by others.
- スピーカーは、医者になるという計画を含む社会的期待に従う自身の歴史を振り返り、他人から押しつけられた夢であり、自分自身のものではないと気づいたときにすぐに夢が薄れていったと語っています。
- The speaker explains that being a troublemaker is not inherently a negative trait, but rather it signifies a dedication to enacting positive change and honoring oneself, despite the potential for inconvenience to others or societal norms.
- スピーカーは、トラブルメーカーであることが本質的には否定的な特性ではなく、他人や社会的規範にとって不便な存在であったとしても、肯定的な変化を起こし、自己を尊重するという献身を意味すると説明しています。
- It is implied that the first step to individual authenticity and self-fulfillment is acknowledging and respecting personal desires and aspirations, even if they do not align with the expectations of others.
- 他人の期待と一致しなくても、個々の真実性と自己実現の第一歩は、個人の欲望と野心を認識し尊重することであることが示唆されています。
★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】【英単語】
- separate（分ける）
- spiral（螺旋状にする）
- self-blame（自己責任）
- shame（恥）
- physiologically（生理的に）
- identity（アイデンティティ、自己同一性）
- behavior（行動）
- convenience（利便性）
- desirable（望ましい）
- troublemaker（問題を起こす人）
- silos（情報の壁、縦割り）
- personality trait（性格特性）
- tantrum（かんしゃく）
- burdensome（重荷となる）
- desire（願望）
- inconvenience（不便）
- purpose（目的）
【コロケーション】
- off the hook（自由身になる）
- leave yourself on the hook（自分を窮地に置く）
- spiraling into（螺旋状に入ること）
- take myself out of the idea（観念を抜け出す）
- swallow down（飲み込む）
- go against（反抗する）
- look back on （振り返る）
- speak about（話し合う）
- chose different（違うものを選ぶ）
- absorb it（それを吸収する）
- create space（スペースを作る）
- put on me（私に押し付ける）
- dedicated to（専念する）
- honoring yourself（自己尊重）
- honor yourself（自分自身を尊重する）
- date the people（デートする人）
- internal trouble（内部の問題）
"And then we can go out in the world and make whatever that trouble looks like in the room that we're in. So, I think people think about troublemaking as like, yeah, creating chaos, being a contrarian, or being the person who throws word bombs. That's not it, at the heart of the matter is: are you being as true as possible? Yes, in whatever room that you are in with yourself. So, I know we're approaching that back to school time, and I get it. We all want to stay in summer mode.
I just want to let you know that one of my favorite things to do is help parents get ahead of tough transitions. So instead of feeling overwhelmed or guilty, you end up feeling like you crushed a really important moment in your and your kid's life. And back to school is exactly one of these moments, so I wanted to make sure you knew about our back to school bundle. With that bundle, you get a live workshop that gives you everything you need to know, and if you're too busy for a workshop, I totally get it, which is why you get a 10-day checklist and a mobile-first approach to support. In fact, you can text us after a hard drop-off so you don't spiral or feel like a bad parent.
[17:24]
This is one of the most popular times to jump into membership, so check it out at GoodInside.com or via the link in show notes. You want to make two links for everyone listening. First of all, I do think, and it's especially true for us women, that even asking yourself the question, what do I want, what might I want, what actually lights me up inside? Not because I see those things light up other people when they witness me, totally different, but actually light me up, it is completely normal and expected to come up with the answers, I have no idea, I don't even know what I'm supposed to answer there, or to have some type of panic feeling, because it might be a sign that, oh, I've never actually kind of, I always think about gazing in before we gaze out versus how many of us were taught to gaze out first, maybe only.
[18:25]
But gazing in, if that's new to you, and if you were raised in a family where you were valued for your convenience, then that's a very cycle breaking, disruptive question. Don't expect yourself to have some profound answer. The troublemaking process is probably just the asking yourself of the question as a start. Correct, correct.
I think one of the things that I think about and one of the questions that I ask myself is, like, will my silence convict me? Like, will my inaction convict me?
[19:27]
In the moments when the answer is yes, I usually would do the thing, like, make the decision. It's a simple question. Will my inaction in this moment convict me? And can you make that first, and we can make it big, can you make that small? Like, even, you were saying, I've struggled to, like, really be authentic up in my friendships, I wanted to be some of the convenient, you know, the convenient friend. How, in terms of silence there, and kind of someone hearing like, convict me, like, am I in some legal trouble, that's not what you're talking about. So even in a friendship, where could that show up? And then how do you push yourself to, you know, take up a little more space?
Who was the friend that you are currently secretly mad at? Mm-mm. Who you have not told?
'Hey, friend, my feelings are a little bit hurt. I think we should have a conversation. Here's how I'm feeling.' Because what's happening is that you're sitting on this secret feeling and if this friend pops up and you give him an attitude, or you're being short, or you're giving no grace and they're like, 'wait, what's happening,' and the friend walks away now feeling hurt, in that moment I feel like your silence convicted you. Your inaction in telling this friend, 'hey, I'm actually feeling this way,' I feel like that's a conviction, because now this friend has no idea.
[20:29]
This can erode your relationship that you've built over these years, all because you're not being honest about how you're feeling. Yes. And I often find that the feelings and wants and needs we have that we don't express, maybe we gain convenience. We always end up with resentment. You end up resentful about that friend. 'How do they not know? I'm upset. I'm resentful that I'm at this meeting. I never wanted to be here in the first place.' Carrying around resentment is so heavy, and it just, it presses you so down. Resentment is weight. Yes. It sits on you, it sits on your shoulders, you wake up thinking about it. The person sees you, like you instantly have these bad feelings, your chest gets heavy. It is one of those feelings that I try to avoid as much as possible.
[21:30]
Which is why I do try to be the person that speaks up. If I'm upset at any of my friends, I try to not let it sit, because I know me. When I am mad or hurt, you will know, even if I don't tell you. My face will show it. The way I'm engaging with you will show it. My energy will show it. So, I'm like, you know what? The thing about me is also my face is an outside voice. I've always known that I don't have a poker face whatsoever. I am not the one that you have to be like, I have to guess what she's thinking. So, I'm like, if that's the case already, I might as well just say what I got to say and tell you, 'hey, I'm pissed. I'm hot, okay?' And then, let's talk about it, and then, we can figure out what the common ground is.
Every single time I've had a tough conversation with a friend, I've walked away with more understanding. Whether it's understanding of, okay, this friend really does cherish me, cares for me, is for me, is a member of my village, or whether it's, yeah, I can't really be in a relationship with this person anymore because they don't have grace, they don't have compassion, they don't have empathy.
[22:32]
So, I always walk away with a dataset that I can now move forward with. And you know, Levy, as you're talking about the way you express yourself and kind of match what's going on inside with, you know, what you verbalize outside. There's a word that comes to mind, and it's a word I said recently to some people I work with. They're like, 'what does that even mean, Becky? Like, no one says that but you.' But I was talking about the people I feel closest to my life and they're people I can locate. That was the word I was using. I can locate them. And I feel like you're someone who people can locate. You're like, there she is, that's how she feels, that's her perspective. And I think people actually have a lot of safety and security around other people they locate. We often worry that it will off-put them but it's very grounding to people. It'd be like, there she is, there's no guesswork, there's a clear boundary. That's where you start and you end. It feels very safe to people. And I mean, benefit is it feels best to ourselves, but you can locate someone.
That is such a great, great concept and word because I do also feel safest with people who I can locate. If I have to guess constantly what you're thinking,
[23:34]
how you're feeling, if you're upset, I can't be safe in your hands because I'm spending half the time trying to solve the riddle that's you. That's exhausting. As a friend, it's exhausting. As somebody in the village, it's exhausting as a colleague. If you're always like, 'I'm not sure if my boss is upset at me, so I don't know if we're... Like, are they cold today?' If you're hard to locate, if you're somebody who's hard to read and you pride yourself on that, just know you're also exhausting some people around you because they're constantly trying to solve the riddle that is you.
And I know I can work with some of those people. I feel like I'm flexible. Like, I'm a pretty clear personality. And to me, being the person that I am, I feel like I am easy to be in relationship and community with in general, just because you don't have to do extra work with me to know where we stand, what page we're on, how I'm feeling. I feel like honest people and courage, courageous people who are very blunt and direct are actually doing the world a favor. It's one less thing to doubt,
[24:35]
one less thing to question. It's so hard for so many of us to be located, to have some, there's some feelings that a lot of adults are like, 'yeah, yeah. I have a hard time locating that feeling in my own body.' Anger, jealousy, feeling less than, right, these are the ones like, 'ooh, I wish that was not me.' So if we go back, and I'm thinking about your book, and we think about so many people listening here have kids. And I know we all want, I mean, in some ways different things, but we all want a lot of similar things for our kids. Everyone I know is like, 'I would like my kid to be confident.'"
★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★
• The speaker discussed the concept of "troublemaking" in the context of self-authenticity, emphasizing that it's not about causing chaos but rather being true to oneself.
- スピーカーは「問題を起こす」という概念について自己の真実性の文脈で語り、それが混乱を引き起こすことではなく自己に忠実であることについて強調しました。• They expressed their role in aiding parents manage tough transitions such as back-to-school adjustments by offering support materials like live workshops, 10-day checklists, and text support.
- 彼らはライブワークショップ、10日間のチェックリスト、テキストサポートなどのサポート資料を提供することにより、学校への調整などの困難な転換期を親が管理するのを助ける役割を表明しました。• The speaker discussed the importance of recognizing and expressing emotions and thoughts, believing that keeping them hidden can lead to a conviction of silence. This can manifest in various relationships, including friendships.
- スピーカーは、感情や思考を認識し表現することの重要性を語り、それらを隠しておくことが沈黙の告発につながると考えています。これは友人関係を含むさまざまな関係で現れます。• They stressed the impact of resentment, arguing it weighs heavily on relationships and communication, therefore encouraging individuals to speak up when upset or disgruntled.
- 彼らは悔しさの影響を強調し、それが関係やコミュニケーションに重くのしかかると主張し、したがって個人が憤ったり不満に思ったりしたときに話すことを奨励しています。• Lastly, the concept of "locating" individuals was addressed. They claimed that it's important for people to be able to express and identify their feelings, not only for others' ease but also for their own understanding and mental wellbeing.
- 最後に、個人を「特定する」という概念について触れられました。他人のためだけでなく、自分自身の理解と精神的健康のためにも、自分の感情を表現し特定することが重要であると彼らは主張しました。★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】
- GoodInside.com（GoodInside.com）
【英単語】
- troublemaking（問題を起こす）
- chaos（混乱）
- contrarian（反対論者）
- overwhelmed（圧倒された）
- guilty（罪悪感を持つ）
- bundle（バンドル）
- checklist（チェックリスト）
- convict（有罪判決を下す）
- authentic（本物の）
- resentment（恨み）
- empathy（共感）
- dataset（データセット）
- verbalize（言葉にする）
- off-put（そっけなく扱う）
- flexible（柔軟な）
- courageous（勇敢な）
- jealousy（嫉妬）
【コロケーション】
- think about（考える）
- throw word bombs（言葉の爆弾を投げる）
- make a decision（決定を下す）
- take up space（スペースを取る）
- feeling hurt（傷ついた感じ）
- express oneself（自己表現する）
- walk away（立ち去る）
- feel close（親しみを感じる）
- come up with（思いつく）
- be upset at（〜に腹を立てる）
- end up with（〜で終わる）
- give an attitude（態度を示す）
"I would like my kid to feel like they can have a full range of feelings. I want my kids to know who they are and not always be motivated by convenience, above all. Most people would say, 'Yeah, I'd sign on for that.' And one of the ways we actually have impact, in helping our kids become those adults, is actually by the way we respond to them when they're struggling and making trouble as kids. Because we must assume that their whole life they're gonna need to make trouble. They're going to have to take up space when other people don't want them to, they have to practice that. In childhood, I always thought 'we can't assume'
[25:37]
complete convenience and compliance in childhood and then hope for confidence and assertiveness in adulthood, why would that even make sense?' And so in your book, what I just love, is how you model this way. There's a boundary, like, 'Hey, we can't do these things and here's why.' There's no permissive parenting going on. And yet, the child is seen for her intention, for the new skills she needs, so she can actually do good trouble instead of just kind of messy, chaotic trouble. There's a difference between 'you're punished, you made a mess' versus 'hey, I kind of see what you're trying to do, let's figure out how you can build the skills so you can do these things in a safe way.' That is a huge difference and has a huge impact for when those kids become adults. I talk about how my mother did me the favor of letting me be who I was. So, I would get in trouble because my brother's feelings were hurt ultimately, right? But when I would ask her[26:40]
to apologize to me, she didn't respond in any harsh ways. She would just say 'all right, lovey, go have a seat.' I talk about how she let me be who I was growing up, just in general. She trusted me with my life, and my confidence had a space. So, in my decisions, she let me have that space. You make a great point about how we're expecting these little babies to grow up to be these assertive world leaders, when we're not practicing it with them. When we live in a culture that prioritizes harmony over justice, that's often a dumpster fire. I'm always wondering 'how do we get here?' It's because all of us have been programmed, the culture has been programmed, to just go with the flow. It's a fact that when kids are eight, nine, ten, their biggest concern is fitting in at school. I've always had maybe the gift and the curse of never fitting in, because I've always been different. I looked different when I came to the U.S.[27:41]
My accent was different. So being able to be different, and being able to be confident, and being able to work through stuff in our house, can then allow us to model that stuff. Earlier, you asked me who showed me what it meant to really be a troublemaker. I was watching my grandmother growing up. My grandmother was a woman who walked into any room, and people loved her instantly. She took up space without any type of apology. She didn't have a high school diploma, but she could have a conversation with the president or a taxi driver with the same type of energy. I also watched her, and she gave me permission to be this bold woman. I saw how people treated her as a woman who was confident, who celebrated herself, and how people still deeply loved her. So I think it modeled to me early on that I can still be this girl and still exist in a world where I am loved. So I brought that into the book, because my mother in the book is actually very similar to my mom now, in that she would have treated me very similarly.[28:44]
She would say, 'Girl, you try to cook. You're not supposed to, but I see what you tried to do. But go sit down somewhere. You gonna help me clean this up.' And I think, you know, just the fact that we're modeling what our parents are allowing us to, where our early authority figures are allowing us to, what our teachers are saying like, 'Your voice matters, you're really smart.' I was affirmed a lot when I was little in terms of how smart I was. So I actually grew up knowing I'm smart. So you can't tell me I'm not smart, I know it. I have been told this, so I think for parents it's really about creating the space and allowing them to be confident and even having the arguments with them. Have the arguments with your kids and be like 'No, I don't like it. Well, why don't you like it? Well, tell me this thing, like have the conversation.' So then they also learn that you can push back in the world when you're outside, even on the people you trust the most. So, I have one more question and it's been on my mind the whole time. And probably some people think 'This is like a whole another episode.' but I also feel like it wouldn't feel right to not ask. So here we go.[29:45]
So, I'm thinking about parents reading this book and having a kid. I have one daughter. And it's so important for me, for her to grow up knowing, like, 'Yes, you take up that space, you have those big feelings. Like, you speak up for you, you are not here to fit in. Push back. When it feels authentic to you. Speak up.' And I'm also very aware, my daughter's like me, we are tiny white women. And we have a privilege around a lack of the same fear of retribution or misperception around using our voice and pushing back. And so, can you speak to that? I think about some parents I've had really long conversations with, some Black parents who say very frankly to me like, 'Yeah like my world isn't your world, like this, speak up, and make trouble, Becky, for your daughter. But it's very different than for my black son.' And so, I'm sure you have thoughts on that.[30:47]
I'd love to hear some of them. I love that question. So, one of the things that I have us think about is when we're thinking about making trouble, sometimes we're thinking about, 'I don't wanna make trouble for myself.' If one of our biggest values is kindness, and a lot of us will rank kindness as a high value, I think, 'Okay, even if you're not speaking up for yourself, how are you speaking up for the person sitting next to you, and how is that kindness value showing up in the room in a real way?' So one thing that requires is for you to figure out what your privileges are. So if you're like, 'Alright, I'm the girl who people do not find threatening, and I know I don't have much retribution or the stakes are not high for me.' I think it's especially important for you to figure out ways that you can back up somebody else. You can speak up for somebody else, right?[31:48]
So, for parents of white kids who are talking about race, who are talking about what it looks like for you to hold your power in your room, consider talking to them about, in the times when you see some of your classmates being treated unfairly, can you use your voice for them? Because it will go further. The black boy who might not be able to push back on his teacher because he's already been considered aggressive, because one time he raised his voice, he will get quieter because society has told him, 'I will punish you for your voice.' But the white girl who sits next to him, who's like people consider me safe, who is like, 'I will raise my voice and people still don't consider me aggressive', should use her voice and say, 'Hey, that actually wasn't okay.' Because in that moment, she's loaning her power to him, and he needs it. So, I think the challenge is for all of us to start thinking about the ways in which the rooms that we're in, the power that we're walking with, the power that we're holding, that somebody else might not hold at that moment.[32:50]
How can we use it? And I think for kids, it's a great way to also make them understand that that's an action that they can do any day that can make a big difference. So saying, 'Hey, I support what my classmate just said,' or 'Hey, I want to back them up.' Even that moment is a big moment of difference because you're now saying 'Hey, I'm plus one-ing what they just said. I am witnessing, I am adding my currency, I am adding my voice.' That is how you shift the world. That's how you change rooms. That's how you make an impact. I think people think about making an impact as like, 'Oh, I have to start a nonprofit.' 'I have to do a big fundraiser.' No, I actually want you to think about the room that you are in."★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★
- The interview discusses the importance of allowing kids to fully express their emotions and not being motivated by convenience, but rather by who they truly are.
- 子供が自分の感情を全て表現できるようにすることと、便宜を求めるのではなく、自分自身であることに動機付けされることの重要性についてインタビューで話し合いました。
- The host highlights the vital role of parents in shaping children into confident and assertive adults by how they respond to them in situations where the children are struggling.
- ホストは、子供が困難に直面している状況での親の対応によって、子供を自信に満ちた積極的な大人に育て上げる親の重要な役割を強調しました。
- There is emphasis on cultivating skills in children to make constructive trouble rather than chaotic ones. This will impact greatly on them as adults.
- 子供たちに、混乱を引き起こすのではなく建設的なトラブルを作るスキルを育てることに重点を置いています。これが、彼らが大人になったときに大きな影響を及ぼします。
- The speaker discusses the cultural issues of fitting in and going with the flow, which hinders children from expressing their true self.
- スピーカーは、溶け込むことと流れに乗ることの文化的な問題について議論しており、これが子供たちが真の自己を表現することを妨げています。
- Parents are encouraged to cultivate in their children the ability to express themselves, wherein the children can draw power from the support they receive in these formative years.
- 親たちは、子供たちに自己表現の能力を育てるよう勧められています。子供たちは、これらの形成年齢で受ける支援から力を引き出すことができます。
★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】
- U.S.（アメリカ）
【英単語】
- convenience（便利さ）
- compliance（従順）
- childhood（子供時代）
- confidence（自信）
- assertiveness（自己主張）
- permissive（寛容な）
- intention（意図）
- troublemaker（問題を起こす人）
- authority（権力）
- argument（議論）
- retribution（報復）
- misperception（誤解）
- privilege（特権）
- kindness（親切）
- aggressive（攻撃的）
【コロケーション】
- make trouble（問題を起こす）
- take up space（スペースを取る）
- respond to（〜に反応する）
- make sense（理解できる）
- fit in（なじむ）
- grow up（成長する）
- push back（抵抗する）
- speak up（声を上げる）
- think about（考える）
"Whether you're young or older, how do you make a difference? How do you loan your voice, your power, your privilege for somebody who's not being given the same space?
[33:51]
So, we're never too young to be able to make a positive impact in the room. So for the tiny ones who are also like, 'Yeah, I kinda just exist there and I know I'm not big or strong,' I think your strength comes in knowing your power, whatever it is, right? And using it, even in the small ways, the tiny ways to make the room better than it was. That's our challenge. And just to connect that to something you said earlier, like, 'Well, my silence convicts me to be aware' or when someone else has been silenced and to help them through feeling your presence and your strength like re-access their own voice. That's an amazing way to use your own power. Absolutely, and it's one of the most valid ways. If there's one thing we can all walk away with, it is the idea that being the positive, making a great difference in the world, it's not in the big moments where you're being loud, loud, loud. It's not in the checks writing.[34:52]
It is in the small moments when you loan somebody courage, when you tell somebody your voice matters. When you say, 'I am backing you up'. When you are telling somebody you belong here. Those are the moments that matter more than anything we can be doing outside that's big and loud. Thanks for listening. To share a story or ask me a question, go to goodinside.com/podcast. You could also write me at podcast at goodinside.com. Parenting is the hardest and most important job in the world, and parents deserve resources and support so they feel empowered, confident, and connected. I'm so excited to share Good Inside membership, the first platform that brings together content and experts you trust with a global community of like-valued parents. It's totally game-changing. Good Inside with Dr. Becky is produced by Jessie Baker and Eric Newsome at Magnificent Noise.[35:56]
Our production staff includes Sabrina Farhi, Julia Knapp and Kristin Muller. I would also like to thank Erika Belsky, Mary Panico and the rest of the Good Inside team. And one last thing before I let you go, let's end by placing our hands on our hearts and reminding ourselves even as I struggle and even as I have a hard time on the outside, I remain good inside."★ここまでの要約・日本語訳★
• The interview emphasizes the importance of using one's power and voice to make a positive impact, regardless of age. Everyone has the ability to help those who feel unheard or unrepresented.
• Understanding and utilizing your own strength is highlighted as a key factor in making a difference, no matter how small the effort may seem.
• Lending others courage, affirming their worth, and creating a sense of belonging are seen as pivotal moments of impact, which outvalue grand gestures.
• Furthermore, the interview discusses the necessity of support, empowerment, and connection in parenting. It introduces a platform called "Good Inside Membership" for this purpose.
• Lastly, the interview concludes by affirming the innate goodness of individuals and encourages self-care and self-compassion despite external struggles.• このインタビューでは、年齢に関係なく、自分の力と声を使って前向きな影響を与える重要性が強調されています。誰を対象にしても、聞こえない、または描写されていない者を助ける能力を誰もが持っています。
• 自己の強さを理解し利用することが、どれほど努力が小さく見えようとも、違いをつくるためのキーファクターとして強調されています。
• 他人に勇気を貸し、その価値を認め、所属感を生み出すことは、大きなジェスチャーよりも重要な影響の瞬間と見なされています。
• さらに、インタビューでは、親権における支援、エンパワーメント、接続の必要性を議論しています。この目的のために「Good Inside Membership」というプラットフォームが紹介されています。
• 最後に、インタビューは個々の本質的な良さを肯定し、外部の闘争にもかかわらず自己ケアと自己慈悲を奨励して結びつけます。★ここまでの特徴的な固有名詞・英単語・英語表現★
【固有名詞】
- Dr. Becky（ドクター・ベッキー）
【英単語】
- difference（違い）
- loan（貸す）
- privilege（特権）
- impact（影響）
- strength（力）
- silence（沈黙）
- presence（存在）
- courage（勇気）
- resources（リソース）
- support（支援）
- confidence（自信）
【コロケーション】
- make a difference（違いを生む）
- be aware of（〜を認識する）
- walk away with（〜を持って去る）
- back up（支える）
- feel empowered（権力を感じる）
